Its about making memories worth repressing
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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