So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize