I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
