Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
