Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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