wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
