Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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