how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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