Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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