I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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