Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
