why didn't you poke me back
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
They have beer where we have blood.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
