So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
