i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
worst night to have a conscience
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
