I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
