is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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