I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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