I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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