Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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