the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My butt remains clenched, sir.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
