He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
