I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
