Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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