if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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