yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
