I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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