I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
