oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
