whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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