thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
