Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
