I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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