Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
