I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You are the jesus of drinking
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
