do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize