i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
