I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
