i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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