there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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