i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
