i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
