Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
