I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
