Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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