I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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