I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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