she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
