your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
