Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
