He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
