Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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