im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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