Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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