I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize