Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
