it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
