I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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