I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Drunk is a universal language darling
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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