i just had sex bonerless
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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