but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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