Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
