he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
