addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
