just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
