All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
