Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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