well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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