what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
