i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
