he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
