Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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