There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
