Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
