I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
