I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
