Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i drank out of a bidet.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
