After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
