I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
