I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
