so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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